Fostering a chaotic but lovable puppy helped me grieve

Sonja Arsenault · for CBC First Person

· Posted: Oct 04, 2025 4:00 AM EDT | Last Updated: October 4

This is simply a First Person file by Sonja Arsenault, who lives successful B.C. For much accusation astir CBC's First Person stories, please spot the FAQ.

My hubby and I weren't readying connected fostering a dog. Especially not 1 that looked uncannily similar our little, precocious Griffin, which we had precocious mislaid to a bosom information aft 12 abbreviated years together. 

We were convinced our grief was excessively earthy and the emotion for our Morkie-mutt felt irreplaceable. Our hearts didn't consciousness beardown capable to withstand saying goodbye to different canine-being, adjacent if it was for a bully crushed similar yet being adopted by a loving family.    

Then 1 Saturday successful March, a person who volunteers with a section rescue texted maine with a photograph of a ragamuffin poodle/Maltese transverse named Sammy. 

He needed a impermanent location wherever helium could decompress and larn the creation of location training, however to locomotion connected leash and wherever helium could enactment connected feeling safer and little reactive astir nutrient and children. The rescue's foster homes were filled to capacity, truthful my person asked if we could instrumentality successful the eight-month-old pup.  

I couldn't shingle the feeling that Griffin had yet sent maine the small cosmic nudge that I'd been waiting for since his passing. 

With his delicate brushed fur and mischievous antics, it was intolerable not to ideate keeping him with us, knowing however comfy helium was successful our location and family.  You see, Sammy didn't cognize helium was to beryllium impermanent and alternatively had moved into our location arsenic if helium had taken implicit the owe payments.  

But my hubby and I are a realistic pair.  

We wanted to question erstwhile we became bare nesters, and being tied down to different favored for the adjacent 15 years was conscionable not successful the cards for us. 

Arsenault says some she and her hubby realized rapidly that Sammy needed favored parents who were location astir of the day. (Submitted by Sonja Arsenault)

We some knew that Sammy needed favored parents who were location astir of the time and who had different canine successful the location for him to play with incessantly.  

The much we leaned into the fostering experience, the much we recognized that fostering fits our lives close present successful a mode adoption doesn't. With full-time jobs and almost-grown kids, our hearts privation the spark of a canine successful the location astatine times — the joy, the chaos, the small regular moments that marque a location consciousness much live and america much similar a implicit and cohesive family. 

Fostering has go for america a saccharine mediate ground; a fewer weeks oregon months of pouring each our leftover parenting vigor into a canine that needs immoderate other emotion and attention. My hubby and I get to practise tag-team parenting again similar aged times but present alternatively of hoops signifier and carpools, it is evening walks, cuddle shifts and late-night "What is that canine up to?" patrols astir the house. 

And the champion part? We get to assistance much dogs this way. One astatine a time, we tin springiness them a brushed landing, emotion them similar our ain and past nonstop them disconnected to their everlastingly families. Loving dozens of dogs alternatively of conscionable 1 feels similar we are multiplying Griffin's bequest implicit and implicit again.  

After respective months of accordant regular and patience transformed pee-filled rugs into house-training success, I wrote a Tinder-style dating illustration for Sammy's adoption ad. 

The rescue received much adoption applications for Sammy successful a time than they had for immoderate different canine successful their history. Think the Ryan Gosling of dogs successful a Bachelor-style contention of options. We helped find Sammy the cleanable lucifer of adopters — including a caller canine member named Baxter and 2 humans who were already obsessed with him.

Arsenault's Tinder-style advertisement connected the Kamloops Ruff Start Society for Sammy received an unprecedented fig of adoption applications. (Sonja Arsenault)

And yet, arsenic the drop-off time to his caller location came closer, I spiraled. What if Sammy was the motion from Griffin to follow different dog? What if letting spell was the incorrect move? What if I was giving distant the 1 transportation I had near to Griffin? How bash you accidental goodbye to thing that gave you backmost a portion of what you had lost? 

But here's the twist we didn't spot coming. 

When we dropped Sammy disconnected astatine his caller home, helium and his caller dog-brother Baxter took disconnected successful the gait successful a crippled of tag astir the pool, tearing up and rolling astir connected their ample spot of fresh-smelling grass. 

We had noted his adopting household lived connected the aforesaid thoroughfare arsenic Griffin's beloved dog-sitter. When I asked the adopters if they knew our friends, they said no. 

Arsenault with her dog, Griffin, which often accompanied her connected her occupation arsenic a parole serviceman successful B.C. (Sonja Arsenault)

I knew close past that Griffin, my mystical small matchmaker, had led Sammy — and maine — to precisely wherever we were some meant to be. Teaching america that beingness is astir risks — opening up our breached hearts again and past learning to fto spell anyway. So no, our hearts couldn't grip different loss. But our hearts could grip much love. Sometimes the hardest goodbyes are conscionable precise clever hellos successful disguise. 

Sammy was ne'er ours to keep. But helium was decidedly ours to love.  

Now, we volition simply adhd him to those we person loved and mislaid and bravely hole ourselves to emotion again. 

I'm thankful to Griffin for the signs and for sending a Sammy-sized reminder that emotion doesn't end; it evolves. And, astir of all, for teaching america that sometimes learning however to fto spell is the astir loving happening we tin bash for each different and for ourselves. 

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