Thousands of Canadians miscarry every year. For them, Mother's Day can be a reminder of loss

Jane Skrypnek · CBC News

· Posted: May 11, 2025 8:24 PM EDT | Last Updated: 16 minutes ago

For many, Mother's Day is astir solemnisation — a time erstwhile the roles are reversed and children are meant to fto their mothers cognize conscionable however overmuch they mean to them. 

But for the estimated 1 successful 10 mothers who person suffered a miscarriage oregon mislaid a child, the time is often 1 of grief.

"There's the moms that get to clasp their babe successful their arms, and the joyousness and the messy meal successful bed, and each that worldly you spot connected cards and connected posters — the symbolic, emblematic Mother's Day. But for those of america who person had a loss, Mother's Day tin beryllium precise difficult," says Nancy Slinn, coordinator of the Metro Vancouver Empty Cradle Bereaved Parents Society.

Slinn became large the archetypal clip she and her hubby Peter tried successful 1988 and thought it would beryllium casual to person much children. But successful the years that followed, they suffered done 2 miscarriages, a surgery, and then, a stillbirth. 

"I tin inactive retrieve each item of each my losses, particularly the time that we mislaid our stillborn daughter," Slinn says, speaking from her location successful New Westminster, B.C.

"I inactive grieve for them. It's a antithetic benignant of nonaccomplishment now, each these years later, but it's inactive there. The symptom ne'er truly goes away."

In Canada, astir 100,000 couples each twelvemonth suffer a kid sometime successful the play betwixt becoming pregnant and the archetypal six weeks of their baby's life, according to the Centre for Studies and Research connected Family Health Intervention.

For immoderate mothers, that means suffering 1 nonaccomplishment successful their lifetime, but others, similar Slinn, will endure galore miscarriages oregon babe deaths. 

"Losing a babe astatine immoderate signifier and for immoderate crushed is 1 of life's astir devastating experiences. Not lone person you mislaid the carnal baby, but besides each the hopes, dreams and plans you had already begun to make for that kid since you knew of their existence," Slinn says.

It's 1 of the astir communal kinds of nonaccomplishment radical experience, says Heather Mohan, a grief counsellor and co-founder of Lumara Bereavement, a non-profit based successful Parksville, B.C., astir 150 kilometres northwest of Victoria. It's besides 1 of the slightest talked about. 

"I deliberation determination is simply a batch of soundlessness due to the fact that radical are not definite however to speech astir it, not definite however to attack it."

The effect is that parents often consciousness invisible successful their grief, Mohan says. 

"And consequently, erstwhile thing is invisible, there's not corresponding backing oregon services to supply supports oregon programs, due to the fact that cipher has identified it arsenic an contented oregon arsenic a problem."

On Mother's Day, that consciousness of invisibility and isolation tin consciousness peculiarly strong because portion these women volition ever beryllium mothers, not everyone volition cognize oregon admit it, Mohan says.

And portion people's instinct whitethorn beryllium to disregard the taxable altogether to debar causing a loved 1 pain, she says that is apt the other of what mothers need.

"I tin reassure you, you're not bringing up thing that they're not already reasoning about, peculiarly connected a time similar this erstwhile mothers are being honoured and celebrated."

Slinn says successful her experience, the champion happening radical tin bash is inquire mothers straight however they privation the time honoured. 

"Because immoderate radical volition say: 'Oh, no, I conscionable privation to crawl successful furniture and enactment nether the sheets.' And immoderate radical volition say: 'I'm inactive a mom, careless of the information that my babe lives successful my heart, not successful my arms.'" 

LISTEN | Pregnancy nonaccomplishment needs to beryllium talked astir more, health-care workers say: 

Across Canada, bereavement permission is minimal and precise fewer supports beryllium for parents grieving a child's death. But a backstage member's measure introduced by Langley-Willowbrook MLA Jody Toor earlier this twelvemonth successful B.C. looks to found perinatal and postnatal intelligence wellness care in the province, including for parents who person experienced a miscarriage oregon babe death.

So far, the measure has received beardown enactment from legislators done a archetypal and 2nd speechmaking of it, but volition request to marque it done a committee and study stage, arsenic good arsenic a 3rd speechmaking earlier being passed into law. The adjacent stages person not been scheduled yet. 

Toor was not instantly disposable for remark connected the bill. 

"We're precise hopeful that thing affirmative volition travel retired of this," Mohan says.

In the meantime, groups similar Lumara Bereavement and Empty Cradle continue to connection grief supports arsenic champion they can.